That's a little how this 5 weeks has felt. So I went to Newport, RI...AGAIN...and met some Admiral...AGAIN...and graduated from Prospective Engineer Officer/Advanced Engineering School...AGAIN. It's been a challenge on a very different level. I passed all my tests, oral boards, evolutions, drills; I did fine in my academic performance. It was a challenge from day 1 just to be here again...to be bored, to essentially do again what I've done 3 times previously. However, I was challenged to make the most of this time, this break. Breaks are a rare thing in the military. We go and we go hard...all the time. Ship life is a grind. I work hard. I work late. We get things done. And we don't stop for 18 months, or 36 months or whatever length of tour we are completing. It's exhausting for me. It's exhausting for my family. So, I spent time in careful reflection of my 1st Department Head tour and assessed what I wanted to do differently this next go-round. I decided to use this 5 weeks in Newport as my own spiritual, physical, and mental boot-camp to re-calibrate myself, my thoughts, myself.
I gave my whole self to my job. I did well, but I paid heavy consequences. I neglected my health. Stress, poor nutrition, infrequent exercise, sleep deprivation and the like put me in a hard place. I found myself in an Urgent Care on January 17th with symptoms that scared me enough to go see a Doctor even while I was on leave and not working. Honestly, I think 18 months of killing myself caught up with me. I've dedicated myself to following my wife's lead in nutrition. She suffers from an auto-immune disease that has forced her to cut out gluten (wheat), sugar, caffeine, et cetera. I'm not diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease like her, but what I've discovered these last 5 weeks in Newport (and two week previously at home) is that these inputs in my body have had horrible effects. I've fought and wrestled and resisted, but ultimately about 2 weeks ago, after reading an article by Dr. Hyman (http://drhyman.com/blog/2012/02/13/three-hidden-ways-wheat-makes-you-fat/ - I just had a wake up call and realized that I need to avoid some things. Give this guy a chance. A LOT of what he says is dead-on. If you're honest with yourself, despite what you want to think, it really makes sense. I've been off wheat for about 2 weeks solid. Nothing. I've severely limited my alcohol intake. I.e., I had a few beers after I finished this school, but I haven't been drinking at all. No beer in the fridge. No sugar. No coke. No caffeine. Lots of water. Here's what I've discovered: my body was addicted to wheat. Without even thinking of it, I craved these super-wheat, processed products like a heroine-addict craves a needle. I really think of it in those terms now. You have some taco bell and you crave more. Then I wanted chinese food. Then I wanted Five guys. As I weened off I discovered how addicted I was to these foods. As I struggled, I also realized how badly they made me feel. Within a week of my removal of these big 3 (wheat, sugar, caffeine---and alcohol right now), symptoms I suffered from for EIGHTEEN MONTHS cleared up: heart burn, reflux, nasal issues, sleep disorder, to name just a few. Symptoms that I had just accepted as part of getting older or something were non-issues or gone completely. Turns out, not so much "part of getting older." I suffered because of the poison I was putting in my body. As I've detoxified my body I've felt better than I have in years and I see real change. I see it. As of this week I've lost almost 24 lbs since January 17th. Since I really took a stance about 2 weeks ago, I've really seen even more dramatic change. It's been a journey. Believing I can change. Doing it. Trusting in change. Now, I'm not swearing off alcohol or a pizza absolutely. Every now and then...of course. I'm human. Your mind needs a treat every now and then. That's the one benefit over my wife who HAS to live this way. It makes sense to eat like she does. I'm not going to rake myself over the coals if I decide Friday night I want to have a few beers with the guys, or one Saturday I'm really jonesing for that meat-lovers' pizza. That's not reality. But, I'm happy that I've flipped a philosophical switch and I'm confident that those sort of food choices will not be my norm ever again. They can't be. They are destroying America and I'm not going to let it destroy me. I'm feeling too good to go back and seeing healthy results that I haven't seen in 6-7 years in just a few weeks living another way. It's too good.
Secondly, I wasn't exercising like I should. A year into my CHENG ride, I could count on one hand the number of times I had worked out during working hours. It was sad. I gave my job everything, and gave myself nothing. Long hours. Lots of stress. No stress relief. I've worked out 45-60 mins everyday since the day I arrived in Newport. It's felt great. I've run, I've done the elliptical. I even played basketball---my first love! for the first time in YEARS. I don't know exactly why I quit working out during my FARRAGUT days. Long hours? Yes. Deadlines? Yes. Inspections? Yes. Underway? Yes. There were any number of real, in your face, 'produce results now' reasons why I probably prioritized it down the list. But, while in the moment I always chose the mission over myself, in the macro-sense, I look back and see that I needed to force time for exercise. So I think the benefit going forward as a 2nd Tour Department Head is that I'm more comfortable in my job. I know how to succeed. Hopefully cope with stress more effectively. Able to prioritize easier and free time for myself. Just like my nutrition, I've discovered I need a physical regimen. I need it.
Lastly, I've undergone a spiritual and emotional trial period. I've had plenty of time for self-reflection. Reading. Studying. I'm a work in progress, but I'm understanding the strengths that God has given me, I'm learning to accept His purpose in my life, and striving to serve (Him and others/Navy) in the best way I can, with the personality he has given me, the unique attributes I have, and realizing that I'm a SWO...I'm CHENG, for a purpose, and it's His, not mine. So be great at it. That's always been tough; walking faithfully where you are and not where you want to be. So I'm here. This experience is molding me. Being a Cruiser Chief Engineer is going to mold me, not early command. right here, right now...This is happening, and I want to be the best that I can be in all respects.
So I'm eternally thankful for these 5 weeks. And I have one more week away down in Norfolk for "ship-ride." I'll crawl around someone else's cruiser and familiarize myself with it. But, God is good. Life is good. I miss my family immeasurably. But this is what I'm called to do. So I'm doing it...as best and as faithfully as I can.
Lastly, I'm paying homage to Forrest Gump today. I leave you with a picture of "Lieutenant DAAAN." This will be my last week as "LT Dan." The longest rank in the Navy is almost done....Sometime next week I will promote to another rank and be Lieutenant Commander Dan. So, goodbye "LT Dan." Hello LCDR Hancock...First round's on me.
Finally, thanks for your support. I really appreciate it. As always, feel free to dialogue, comment, share, post.
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